Relationship Therapy
Are You Feeling Disconnected And Misunderstood In Your Relationships?
Our relationships—whether intimate, platonic, or familial—shape the way we see the world. When disconnection occurs, it can compromise our sense of security both within ourselves and with others. Oftentimes, relational issues translate to anger, frustration, and increased stress. These issues build on themselves, creating “stuck points” that lead to anxiety, depression, unhealthy choices, and a general decrease in our overall quality of life.
Symptoms of relationship issues come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes, they can appear to be unrelated. In fact, physical discomfort and disease often have roots in relational disconnection. Many individuals experience digestive issues, back and neck pain, muscle weakness, heart issues, and fatigue—sometimes assuming that the explanation behind these symptoms is purely physical. In actuality, conscious and unconscious forces are at play, along with deeply ingrained relational patterns that continue to shape our emotional and physical realities while simultaneously being shaped by our relationships.
Gaining insight and learning how to shift unhealthy relating to self and other is at the core of every healthy relationship. However, we often blame others and expect them to change. You may find yourself asking How can I make them understand and do what I want? Why don’t they hear me? How can they prove their love? How can I prove mine? What am I doing wrong to perpetuate the cycle of dysfunction?
These are tough questions to tackle alone, which is why individual therapy has the potential to transform all of your relationships. Collaborating together, we will explore what it means to be in a healthy relationship with others—and yourself—so that you can understand and express your needs in a way that gets your needs met.
Relationships Are Complex And Can Be Challenging to Navigate
Relationships are dynamic, living entities, constantly in motion and thus prone to conflict at times. It’s natural to experience the push and pull of these evolving connections, and most importantly, to be aware of how relational patterns impact us and lead to conflict. This awareness can lead to increased relational harmony by paving the way towards improved communication skills, heightened tolerance for change and transition and most importantly, overall mental wellness and quality of life.
Societal narratives around what it means to be in a relationship can get in the way of deeper connections. Western society is often skewed with the idea of a “happily ever after”—made worse by the comparison culture of social media—which causes us to believe that relationships sustain themselves without guidance or mutual effort. In truth, authentic communication and connection takes skill, practice, courage, and the ability to make space for the natural ebb and flow of relating to self and other. Instead of viewing our relationships as a static final destination, it is important to appreciate the dynamic nature they hold and to learn how to nurture them to health.
Therapy offers a meaningful perspective into where our relationship blind spots are. Patterns are easier to identify from the outside, and my job as a psychologist is to help you see your way out of the fog to a place of clarity. Diving into the core issues in therapy, we can work together to better understand problem patterns and eliminate them from resurfacing in your relationships.
Individual Therapy Can Be The Key To Healthy, Attuned Relationships
Without an awareness of the relational patterns that have been shaped by a range of factors—from our families of origin to our cultural expectations to our individual experiences—there is no way to fully understand what to adjust or how. Relationship-oriented therapy is about identifying patterns and learning how to shift those patterns in order to get our needs met.
This approach is designed for individuals looking to gain a deeper understanding of the relationship models that shape their interactions and the skills needed to identify and overcome stuck patterns. My work focuses on helping individuals gain insight and the skills needed to make lasting changes in how they relate to themselves and others.
What To Expect In Our Sessions Together
As a psychodynamically oriented therapist, my aim is to help clients become conscious of the unconscious elements at play in their lives-that tend to manifest through relationships. By empowering clients to evaluate how patterns have been built and perpetuated since childhood and gain the tools needed to make lasting change, they can take control of their futures.
A lot of the work of relationship therapy operates around communicating effectively and setting healthy boundaries. I will guide you in the process of understanding how patterns of relating have impacted your ability to connect and feel secure. We will tune into the body’s cues to “stop, look, and listen” with the goal of returning to a more attuned, authentic place. This will prepare you to regulate your emotions and cope with stressors more readily so that you can ultimately move away from an unhealthy cycle of conflict.
With this in mind, I will guide you in differentiating between healthy and unhealthy conflicts. Conflict is not always a sign of dysfunction, and in fact, conflict is necessary for your relationship to thrive! It can be difficult to distinguish in a world that has very little tolerance for anything remotely resembling confrontation, but my approach to relationship therapy is designed to foster tolerance and appreciation for healthy conflict.
Clear communication and boundary setting are two of the most important things for us to do in our relationships, but many cultural and familial values prevent us from doing so. With conscious effort in counseling, it’s possible to develop these skills that are absolutely essential to our relationships.
Still Unsure If Relationship Therapy Is Right For You?
I’m having trouble with my partner—wouldn’t it be more beneficial to go to couples therapy?
This is a common concern when it comes to individual counseling for relationships. The answer to this question ultimately depends on the situation. While couples counseling is certainly beneficial in many instances, it is essential for us as individuals to understand what conscious and unconscious elements we are bringing into the relationship, and how they shape our patterns of relating. Having this information can lay the groundwork and enhance the work of couples therapy, making the process that much more effective.
I’m not the problem—why should I go to counseling for my relationships?
This is a very understandable feeling. However, I encourage you to consider that every problem within a relationship is a shared one, regardless of how much you think you are or are not contributing. Gaining insight into your relationship patterns can be a powerful way to facilitate the change you desire and deserve.
My experience as a psychologist is that as clients in therapy for their relationships are empowered to understand and work on themselves, their relationships naturally shift in a positive direction.
I’m not sure that the financial commitment of therapy is worth it—how can I guarantee the relationship will improve?
Therapy is an investment and certainly comes with an emotional, financial, and time commitment. My goal as a therapist is to increase a level of consciousness that facilitates healthy coping skills and knowledge that will help you navigate your relationship challenges. Though your relationship may be what caused you to seek out counseling, the ultimate focus is on you, and the benefit of therapy will extend far beyond what brought you here in the first place.
It is Possible To Enhance Your Relationships—And Live The Life You Desire
As a psychodynamically oriented therapist, I aim to help clients understand the unconscious and conscious forces at play in their relationships so they can reduce the impact of unhealthy conflict on their lives. For more information about how I can help, contact me.
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